Japan '23 — KdenTee

Japan was one of the most (or maybe just first) culturally shocking experiences of my life. From the moment I landed, all the things I had built up in my head about what to expect were essentially confirmed (something I did not expect).

I remember pretty clearly the first experience I had that made me notice just how different of a place I was when I was standing on the escalator the day we landed at the airport, I didn’t think much about where I was standing, only that I was doing what I have always done, when abruptly from behind me a woman who was in a rush was telling me politely to get out of the way:

sumimasen

It was at this point I looked around me and saw everyone else standing in a single file line on the left side of the escalator, probably wondering why these rude foreigners don’t bother to look up the rules before they come.

Our trip consisted of 4 main parts; the following are the highlights from each

Part 1: Tokyo and a Proposal

This city was a contradiction to common sense. Huge yet quiet, bustling but clean, complex but orderly.

Allow me to elaborate: during the peak rush hours aboard the massive subway network, you’d be squeezed into a subway car like sardines. However, for as many people as there were next to you in proximity, it was difficult to feel comfortable whispering to Jackie or Devon, given that it was so quiet I could hear the sound of people tapping on their phones playing games, scrolling social media, or texting their friends.

Furthermore, the city itself felt like a children’s drawing of what a city would look like from a layout perspective. Seemingly random winding streets, areas that felt like they had no zoning laws with extremely tiny businesses pushed right up against each other, and some bars where 5 people would entirely consume the space. However, among all this, there was a convenience store on each corner of this sprawling giant, each one with fresh food made daily that could rival most Asian restaurant food back home. How this could be managed every day in an orderly fashion at this scale, I still can’t understand.

My final observation about this city was just how clean it was. When you walk around the streets (void of trash cans also), you’d be hard bent to find a piece of trash lying around, and if you do manage it, you’d be equally hard-pressed to not find someone whose job it is to pick that trash up. If I had to guess, the biggest culprit of littering in this country is probably the wind.

Part 1.5: The Proposal Story

I’m a thinker. Sometimes to my own detriment. I tend to play out every possible scenario in my head, sometimes unfortunately focusing on the worst possible outcome (I think this may be human nature).

A plan was set in motion that this was going to be where I finally asked Jackie to marry me. I was sitting at home, listening to Lord of the Rings music, building Legos (as any grown man would do) when I wound up deep in thought about my relationship and that it was time to further it. I wanted to accomplish the following

Do it in a foreign country
Hire a photographer
Do it in Korean
Make it memorable

The first task was easy; at this point we had already been discussing Japan for a while, and we all just needed to pull the trigger on the tickets check. The second task was slightly harder; it turns out this isn’t a wholly new idea since it seemed like every notable photographer in Japan was already booked for a proposal shoot during this time (several months in advance), however, after getting redirected by those who were booked, I landed on a great photographer check. Korean… well, we will get to that. Finally, to make it memorable, I made sure to choose the right location at the right time (golden hour), with a plan for dinner and karaoke.

The Execution

It was probably 2 hours before I was going to ask the question; earlier that day, Devon and I engaged in a shady exchange where he traded me the ring he had been keeping safe. My palms were sweaty and cold, and Jackie kept asking me:

Where are we going to dinner, is it nice? Do I need to dress up? Wear makeup?

None of which at the time felt like easy questions to answer when you are trying to play it cool. However, despite my probably nervous composition and urgency, I dragged Jackie to the train station, made the first train on time, missed the connection to the second, and arrived at Hibiya Park a mere 5 minutes before the arrival at the location in the park I wanted to do it (where the photographer was waiting). Having street-viewed this park in Google several times, I thought I had a good grasp of the scale; I did not. It was so much bigger than anticipated, and I got lost fast; suddenly what I told Jackie was just a “stroll through this random park before dinner” turned into a bit of a mad romantic dash. At this point, she was probably catching on to something being fishy. Finally, at last, I got her to the bridge in the park, and made her turn around to look at some random thing in the water? As quickly as she turned to the water, she turned back at me, fumbling around in my pocket and dropping to my knee. “…..

AFTER 4 MONTHS OF PRACTICING HOW TO SAY “WILL YOU MARRY ME” IN KOREAN, THOUSANDS OF ATTEMPTS, KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT, ENTERING MY DREAMS, IN MY EVERY WAKING THOUGHT.

… will you marry me?”

ah well.

The rest of the night was pretty euphoric; Devon treated us to some nice champagne (in which Lidia our photographer, partook). We had one of the most ambient dinners I could ever picture, and we called her mom and dad to fill them in (a whole story in itself).

Part 2: Relaxation - Hakone

After all the nights and excitement in Tokyo, I may have bent the knee too hard. The night of the engagement, I ended up with a knee that was in a lot of pain and really couldn’t articulate. I was pretty worried at this point, given we had about a week of vacation left, that I wouldn’t be able to get around well. I managed to get around like this the remainder of the night and the next morning before departing on the Shinkansen bound for Hakone; we stopped into a world-famous Don Quixote and found a knee brace that made the trip bearable. Better yet, our next destination (after some hiking up a hill and a long bus ride) was literally paradise on earth. Jackie had talked us into one of the most expensive stays of our lives (that I do admit, the bill made me a bit apprehensive at first), but after the experience, I would have paid double to do it again. We stayed at a Japanese bathhouse, known as an onsen ryokan. The sell here is as follows:

Traditionally styled building
Can only wear kimono and slippers indoors
Traditional meals (unlimited alcohol after 6)
Naturally fed hot spring bath
Panoramic views of the Japanese countryside and mountains

This was truly the recharge we all needed at this point in the trip. It's so difficult to put into words what this place was like. The aroma, the constant soothing backdrop music, and the commitment to the traditional setting (kimono, slippers). It couldn’t last forever, but I frequently mention this as my top favorite thing I did in Japan and the thing I would easily return to and do again regardless of the price.

Part 3: Kyoto

I have less to say about here. The views were nice, the food was good, but that raw experience I felt in Tokyo seemed off. First off, to its detriment, the city almost seemed too perfect. It’s difficult to convey this, but it almost felt like their representation of what they would think a tourist would want to see. The streets were all large square concrete slabs that were laid almost too perfectly; the buildings, though traditionally styled, felt like they were only a few years old; and finally, the tourists, they seemed to outnumber the locals 2:1. The best part about Kyoto? - going to Nara.

Part 3.1: Nara

Nara was fun. Jackie was the one who pushed for this one, and I am glad she did. We woke up early that morning and took a train from Kyoto to Nara. A short walk from the train station (where we passed by a famous shop where they do mochi pounding; we came at an off time :/) and we arrived at the deer park. We found a vendor near the entrance where we were able to pay and get some cookies that could be fed to the deer. The best part about this place is how they bow their head to you when you approach them. FYI I was disappointed when I found out they aren’t really bowing their head.

The famous deer of Nara, Japan, bow because they are conditioned to beg for food. Over centuries of interacting with tourists, generations of deer have learned that if they lower their heads and mimic human bowing, they are rewarded with shika senbei (special deer crackers).

Which I guess is kinda close?

Anyway, what came after the deer park was this super special little local spot, nestled into the village, off the beaten path. It was a little soba shop; I had to wait in line for a few minutes, and I got the feeling we were one of the few tourists there. But the food was delicious. The old lady who served us was extremely nice and showed us how to turn the leftover dip into a drink. We all finished our meals and left happy and full.

Part 4: Osaka

Once arriving to Osaka the vibe was instantly different from Kyoto. It was busier, it was a little rougher around the edges, and it was filled with every type of person. This city felt like the “fun” or “younger” spot of all the places we visited. Our whole crew had decided pretty quickly that we liked the vibe here a bit better than Kyoto. One of the big events that was going to take place here was

Universal Japan 🇯🇵

I’ve never been to a theme park in my life, so I didn’t really have an expectation set. The big draw at the time was that it was the only theme park that had Super Mario World. This was a Jackie and I trip (dev split off here). When we arrived, we were met with a little friction; we had the wrong tickets on our phone and basically no way to get the right ones. Additionally, we couldn't find a single person that could help us that spoke in English, and we had to hurry to get to the park since we had timed entry into several of the areas. We were a little frantic here, but eventually we went to the help booth, waited in line, and through many words I couldn't understand, got accepted into the park.

Again, the main attraction was Super Mario World. For a first-timer in a theme park, the initial entrance blew me away. The way they blend the sky into the park and just totally transport you to a different world after going through the Mario Pipe entrance was so cool.

The rest of the park was fun too; Harry Potter World was probably my favorite. The half scale Hogwarts was so convincing with the perspective of it.

Also, we ate a ton of cute character meat pies, which were strange as an idea but pretty f’ing delicious.

The final thing worth mentioning about going to Osaka was the castle. Having watched Shogun (amazing show) shortly before this trip, it was pretty high on my list. The castle felt so similar and just so cool overall to what I saw in the show, 10/10.

Part 5: Until Next Time

So, we shinkansened back to our final destination, back in Tokyo, met up with Uncle and Aunt Banana one last time, got some good sushi for my birthday (thanks, Jackie), then hit the airport.

Japan for me was my first time in Asia; it was incredible just how much it lived up to and surpassed my expectations for how people live in other parts of the world.

it was:

peacful
respectful
beautiful
tasty

I gained a fiancé, some culture, (lost weight? So much walking), and a desire to never stop traveling. Japan set a high bar; each country has its own quirks that make it special. I can't wait for what the future holds and where else I’ll find myself traveling with my best friend.