Japan '23
Japan was one of the most (or maybe just first) culturally shocking experiences of my life. From the moment I landed, all the things I had built up in my head about what to expect were essentially confirmed (something I did not expect).
I remember pretty clearly the first experience I had that made me notice just how different of a place I was when I was standing on the escalator the day we landed at the airport, I didn’t think much about where I was standing, only that I was doing what I have always done, when abruptly from behind me a woman who was in a rush was telling me politely to get out of the way:
sumimasen
It was at this point I looked around me and saw everyone else standing in a single file line on the left side of the escalator, probably wondering why these rude foreigners don’t bother to look up the rules before they come.
Our trip consisted of 4 main parts, the following are the highlights from each
Part 1: Tokyo And A Proposal
This city was a contradiction to common sense. Huge yet quiet, bustling but clean, complex but orderly.
Allow me to elaborate, during the peak rush hours aboard the massive subway network you’d be squeezed into a subway car like sardines. However, for as many people as there were next to you in proximity, it was hard to feel comfortable whispering to Jackie or Devon given that it was so quiet I could hear the sound of all the tapping their phones playing games, scrolling social media or texting their friends.
Furthermore, the city itself felt like a children’s drawing of what a city would look like from a layout perspective. Seemingly random winding streets, areas that felt like they had no zoning laws with extremely tiny businesses pushed right up against each other, and some bars where 5 people would entirely consume the space. However, among all this, there was a convenience store on each corner of this sprawling giant, each one with fresh food made daily that could rival most Asian restaurant food back home. How this could be managed every day in an orderly fashion at this scale, I still can’t understand.
My final observation about this city was just how clean it was. When you walk around the streets (void of trash cans also) you’d be hard bent to find a piece of trash lying around, and if you do manage it, you’d be equally hard-pressed to not find someone whose job it is to pick that trash up. If I had to guess, the biggest culprit of littering in this country is probably the wind.
Part 1.5: The Proposal Story
I’m a thinker. Sometimes to my own detriment. I tend to play out every possible scenario in my head, sometimes unfortunately focusing on the worst possible outcome (I think this may be human nature).
A plan was set in motion that this was going to be where I finally asked Jackie to marry me. I was sitting at home, listening to Lord of the Rings music, building Legos (as any grown man would do) when I wound up deep in though about my relationship and that it was time to further it. I wanted to accomplish the following
Do it in a foreign country
Hire a photographer
Do it in Korean
Make it memorable
The first task was easy, at this point we had already been discussing Japan for a while, and we all just needed to pull the trigger on the tickets check. The second task was slightly harder, turns out this isn’t a completely new idea since it seemed like every notable photographer in Japan was already booked for a proposal shoot during this time (several months in advance), however, after getting redirected by those who were booked I landed on a great photographer check. Korean… well, we will get to that. Finally, to make it memorable I made sure to choose the right location, at the right time (golden hour), with a plan for dinner and karaoke.
The Execution
It was probably 2 hours before I was going to ask the question, earlier that day Devon and I engaged in a shady exchange where he traded me the ring he had been keeping safe. My palms were sweaty and cold, and Jackie kept asking me:
Where are we going to dinner, is it nice? Do I need to dress up? Wear makeup?
None of which at the time felt like easy questions to answer when you are trying to play it cool. However, despite my probably nervous composition and urgency I dragged Jackie to the train station, made the first train on time, missed the connection to the second and arrived to Hibiya Park a mere 5 minutes before the arrival at the location in the park I wanted to do it (where the photographer was waiting). Having street-viewed this park in google several times I thought I had a good grasp of the scale, I did not. It was so much bigger than anticipated, and I got lost fast, suddenly what I told Jackie was just a “stroll through this random park before dinner” turned into a bit of a mad romantic dash. At this point, she was probably catching on to something being fishy. Finally, at last, I got her to the bridge in the park, made her turn around to look at some random thing in the water? As quickly as she turned to the water, she turned back at me, fumbling around in my pocket and dropping to my knee. “…..
AFTER 4 MONTHS OF PRACTICING HOW TO SAY “WILL YOU MARRY ME” IN KOREAN, THOUSANDS OF ATTEMPTS, KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT, ENTERING MY DREAMS, IN MY EVERY WAKING THOUGHT.
… will you marry me?”
ah well.
The rest of the night was pretty euphoric, Devon treated us to some nice champagne (in which Lidia our photographer partook). We had one of the most ambient dinners I could ever picture, and we called her mom and dad to fill them in (a whole story in itself).
Part 2: Relaxation - Hakone
After all the nights and excitement in Tokyo, I may have bent the knee too hard. The night of the engagement, I ended up with a knee that was in a lot of pain and really couldn’t articulate. I was pretty worried at this point, given we had about a week of vacation left, that I wouldn’t be able to get around well. I managed to get around like this the remainder of the night and the next morning before departing on the Shinkansen bound for Hakone we stopped into a world-famous Don Quixote and found a knee brace that made the trip bearable. Better yet, our next destination (after some hiking up a hill and a long bus ride) was literally paradise on earth. Jackie had talked us into one of the most expensive stays of our life (that I do admit, the bill made me a bit apprehensive at first) but after the experience I would have paid double to do it again. We stayed at a Japanese bath house, known as an onsen ryokan. The sell here is as follows:
Traditionally styled building
Can only wear kimono and slippers indoors
Traditional meals (unlimited alcohol after 6)
Naturally fed hot spring bath
Panoramic views of the Japanese countryside and mountains
This was truly the recharge we all needed at this point in the trip. Its so hard to put in words what this place was like. The aroma, the constant soothing